DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband hasn’t been able to perform for me sexually for years but apparently he can for his bit on the side – who I’m convinced is my stepsister.
I found his secret Viagra stash in the glove compartment when I borrowed his car for work, as mine wouldn’t start.
For more advice from Dear Deidre
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
I am 48 and he is 53. We have been married for 18 years and have two boys aged 14 and 12.
We’ve never even tried the little blue pill together, after I gave up on our sex life three years ago because he started to have erection problems.
At first I wondered if he was going to suggest we try Viagra together but months passed and he hadn’t said a word.
So I checked the packet and three more pills had disappeared.
Suspicious, I kept an eye on his behaviour and began to notice the classic signs of an affair.
He went on a diet, started going for runs, took more care than usual with his appearance and became secretive with his phone.
I asked him several times if he wanted to talk about anything and said I thought he was possibly in an inappropriate relationship — but he just denied it and we carried on.
A few weeks later I then discovered he’d been to an off licence in the town where my stepsister lives.
She is 41 and we have never got on but I always noticed my husband’s eyes lit up whenever she was around.
I quizzed him again and this time he admitted going to her house for a cup of tea, but said she was out.
He often sneaks out to the garage and I suspect he has another phone. I activated Find a Phone and last weekend it showed he was near my stepsister’s address all afternoon.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
He’d told me he was visiting a mate who had recently had a bad accident on his motorbike.
I’m tempted to throw the pills at him and demand a true explanation.
Most read in Dear Deidre
DEIDRE SAYS: Playing the detective seldom works and isn’t the way to resolve this. Don’t leap to conclusions.
He may be using Viagra for his own self-pleasure.
But you will not be able to forget about this, so must raise the subject. Tell him you found the pills when in his car.
Say you were so surprised, you didn’t say anything, but you’d like him to clear up the mystery.
Explain you feel sure there is more to his relationship with your stepsister.
READ MORE SUN STORIES
Stay calm but say you are concerned and anxious.
His story will either convince you or not, but keep an open mind until then.
NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE I fought back from cancer and my eldest daughter has stopped talking to me
READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Jamie is not interested in wedding planning with Lara
GET IN TOUCH How the page works and how to contact us
ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTErKynZpOke7a3jp2cmqpdmbKqsNGeZmpuaGx%2FeIGTaJ%2Buq5KWu6V50p6aq52kYsOqrcarmGarpJbAqXnSrZypq5mowaa%2Bjg%3D%3D